16 November 06

J and I were sitting on the couch chilling out and talking. A lounge like at N's place. And his tummy looked really big, not fat, but inflamed inside. He lay down to feel more comfortable.

30 October 06

I was holding a massive party at this awesome country lodge place. Someone was fishing in the lake and I got a fish hook stuck in my finger. And I was pissed off because someone had slept in my bed and spewed everywhere on the duvet, the sheets, pillows, in between floor boards… And I was sitting talking to J and some people with a few drinks and she had taken over the lease of a shop but then the lady who leased it to her wanted it back. Then that night the party started and there were heaps of people lying around in the grass with cushions etc and bevan was there and then I was looking for S and T was standing by himself across the grass lane and told me she was under the deck getting it on with bevan and I looked under the deck I was walking on and it was another couple. So I walked down the lane full of people walking about holding hands and beer cans. Then I remember walking back on the other side of the field down a row of trees with someone, just talking. And then there were these boys with chainsaws wearing school uniforms like a gang were all sitting on tree branches in these massive macrocarpa trees and sawing through them and sitting on them as they fell into the crowd and then getting off and running back up and doing it again until all the branches were gone and trying to hurt everyone. And I watched in horror and when they had finished I ran towards everyone where they had been lounging (thank god it was round the corner to the trees) and I came across this posh girl about our age who screamed at me to check her little Pomeranian dogs were ok because they had been on a big walk and were tired. And I screamed back at her “look, I organised this whole party and I am responsible, so you can just wait your turn or f*ck off!!” because I knew some people were hurt and she was asking me to look at her dogs!! Then I got as far as the steps to the house and her and her mate came up to me but they were dressed in monk/Indian robes and her friend said ‘that’s her’ and then turned around and walked off giving evils with her boyfriend. Then I went inside and saw A from work sitting beside his girlfriend in a hospital bed. And she was sweet.

3 October 06

I was in kermy and stopped in the country on a hillside road and as I turned to the right out the corner of my eye I saw this south east asian man marching towards me and it only took him two steps to reach me and he was staring at me straight in the eyes and I knew he was going to get into the car but it was too late to lock the doors. He opened the door and dragged me out and there were more of them, then they pulled me down the hill, raped me and beat me. Then some white girls came over and said it had something to do with an email they had sent me which I thought was junk mail and deleted because it was so random, like they were part of a secret group I was supposed to know about or have something to do with. The girls ended up letting me go with a warning. I remember calling T and I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone so I didn’t see him because then he would see my face was black and blue. Then I was driving around with M and whispering, trying to tell her but thought they might be listening and I quietly drove past the area it happened and I could see little Cambodian girls crouching in the bushes watching the people who came into the area. And I remember thinking they mustve known it was me in that car from the start.

21 September 06

I was in a house at this WICKED party on a beachfront in a bach… and N was partying in the window of the house next door. All the doors and windows were open and there were millions of stars. It had been raining so at first we didn’t think we’d be able to have the parties and I think there were some A&P show rides. It was some celebration all along the beach on a starry summer night.

31 August 06

I was trying to escape from someone/thing and I was on horseback and leading another one and we were galloping through field and jumping gates and fences trying not to be seen. All the land around home… an extension of where I used to ride when I was little and go for a whole day without anyone knowing where I was and no one minded…